I've moved my blog to a new address check it out at
http://lovinlucyslife.livejournal.com/
Hope to see you there!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Ranting!
After years of my boss telling me to help the newer teachers with their lesson plans and classroom management. I was told today that the other teachers feel like I need to be in control of the classroom and I'm bossy. So now I'm not allowed to say anything to them at all. Even if I have an idea to go along with their ideas or a suggestion to add to their plans. I can't say anything! AT ALL! I understand jobs and job descriptions change, but I am so sick of trying to figure out what they want. I never purposely tried to make things go my way. I was just trying to save them time when they were doing things the hard way (which I hope they would do for me as well) and improve on already good ideas with more ideas. That's what co-teachers do. So many things are running around my head right now. It's hard to sort them out. Fine, they don't want suggestions, at all, I'll do my best to keep my mouth shut. But if my boss comes back to me in a few months and says I'm not helping out as much as I should I'm going postal!
Friday, March 28, 2008
New Location
So today was a teacher work day. It went well. We packed some boxes for the big move to our new location and had a teachers meeting. Which also went well. With one exception. One specific co-teacher wants me to...how do I put this...make an effort to not be grouchy when she changes things around without letting me know her plans. Hello we are co-teachers! I don't intend to be pissy or grouchy (as she put it). I just want to know what the plan is. Maybe I might have some ideas along the same line or thoughts to add to the enjoyment and educational purpose of the changes. Maybe I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING SO I CAN PLAN A WAY TO INCLUDE IT! I understand I come off as if I am in a bad mood or challenging and I am working to soften that side of me. But what little miss "I worked for Disneyland" doesn't understand is, this is the real world and not everyone smiles all day long. I had to ask this same co-teacher for what feels like the hundredth time to please clean up after her class in the snack area. It's not that she leaves a big mess, it's just that I would never leave a mess behind for someone else to clean up and it's been bothering me for weeks. And she told me she's comfortable with the way she leaves it. That was her answer. That's it, nothing more. I have to make a personality change but she can't clean up a few napkins and cups. We settled everything to our bosses satisfaction but I'm still annoyed. Anyway, I'm tired of bitching. On to something new.
We also went to a luncheon at our new location and it's fantastic! The rooms are bigger! There is a bathroom in all the rooms we will be using! The music/snack room is a real gymnasium! The kitchen has professional appliances! The sanctuary has risers so all the children will be seen when singing on special occasions! We met the pastoral and office staff, had lunch together and then each had a turn to introduce ourselves. Everyone was so welcoming and happy to have us joining them. They had been praying for a way to reach the community around them and we came along needing a place to continue reaching out to families and children. A match made in heaven! Literally! When it was my turn I couldn't help but cry because it really felt like we were coming home. As if this was our new family. I can hardly wait to be a part of this church's ministry.
We also went to a luncheon at our new location and it's fantastic! The rooms are bigger! There is a bathroom in all the rooms we will be using! The music/snack room is a real gymnasium! The kitchen has professional appliances! The sanctuary has risers so all the children will be seen when singing on special occasions! We met the pastoral and office staff, had lunch together and then each had a turn to introduce ourselves. Everyone was so welcoming and happy to have us joining them. They had been praying for a way to reach the community around them and we came along needing a place to continue reaching out to families and children. A match made in heaven! Literally! When it was my turn I couldn't help but cry because it really felt like we were coming home. As if this was our new family. I can hardly wait to be a part of this church's ministry.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Happy Birthday To Me
I love to celebrate other people's birthdays. My kids parties are events! Low budget events, but events none the less! Our greatest success so far is Katie's 16th and John's 18th joint party. We turned the living room into a dance club and the dining room into a X-Box gaming room. Their friends still talk about it. I love to give thoughtful gifts and make the birthday person's day extra special. I want them to know I love them by spending time on them and with them.
Today is my birthday. Not one of my favorite days of the year. In fact, it's my least favorite. Don't get me wrong I like birthdays, just not mine. I have no problem with my age now or in the future. I'm 38, by the way. But my birthday has been a nonevent for so many years I just don't look forward to it anymore. While I was married my ex never remember my birthday. When he finally did realize what day it was he would say he needed to go "out for awhile" and would come back with the most thoughtless gifts you can imagine. He once bought me a box of Whitman's chocolates. Sounds okay, right? Wrong! It only had four chocolates in the box!
After our divorce I was alone usually. Family would call but no one made any real effort to celebrate. Two years ago I asked my sister and brother and their spouses to meet us for a birthday dinner. They were all over 40 minutes late. No one apologized. No one hung around to talk after eating. I felt so...disappointed. I expected a fun time, enjoying their company and feeling closer to them. I left feeling left out. Even my kids noticed they were kind of jerks.
People who know when my birthday is ask "aren't you excited?" But it's really just another day to me. Except it's supposed to be my special day. My daughter has been hinting she had a great gift for me for weeks. But I couldn't get excited, because in my mind she would be the only one that really treated today in a special way. She has been calling my family members for weeks trying to organize a get together but no one seems to be available. In the end she invited a friend that we spent Easter with. Katie cooked dinner, gave me a digital photo frame and the most beautiful card. John gave me candles. My friend gave me a Sushi set (one of my new favorite foods). And we had a great evening talking and eating.
My family called me to wish me happy birthday, yesterday (Even my mother). Hello, my birthday is on the same day every year! Write it down. My coworkers each gave me a gift. Each one thoughtful and I was grateful for each one. The kids at my school sang to me and in one of the classes each of the children wrote Happy Birthday on a slip of paper for me. No small feat for children that have just learned to write their first and last names! One of the parents made homemade cream puffs for me. She even made a special trip to the school to drop them off, because her child wasn't at school today. And best of all an old friend from high school called and we spent an hour catching up.
Final thought. I had no expectations for today so every little thing was special! I wasn't disappointed because I didn't think anything special would happen. It's a crummy way to think about my birthday but I don't know how else to approach it.
Today is my birthday. Not one of my favorite days of the year. In fact, it's my least favorite. Don't get me wrong I like birthdays, just not mine. I have no problem with my age now or in the future. I'm 38, by the way. But my birthday has been a nonevent for so many years I just don't look forward to it anymore. While I was married my ex never remember my birthday. When he finally did realize what day it was he would say he needed to go "out for awhile" and would come back with the most thoughtless gifts you can imagine. He once bought me a box of Whitman's chocolates. Sounds okay, right? Wrong! It only had four chocolates in the box!
After our divorce I was alone usually. Family would call but no one made any real effort to celebrate. Two years ago I asked my sister and brother and their spouses to meet us for a birthday dinner. They were all over 40 minutes late. No one apologized. No one hung around to talk after eating. I felt so...disappointed. I expected a fun time, enjoying their company and feeling closer to them. I left feeling left out. Even my kids noticed they were kind of jerks.
People who know when my birthday is ask "aren't you excited?" But it's really just another day to me. Except it's supposed to be my special day. My daughter has been hinting she had a great gift for me for weeks. But I couldn't get excited, because in my mind she would be the only one that really treated today in a special way. She has been calling my family members for weeks trying to organize a get together but no one seems to be available. In the end she invited a friend that we spent Easter with. Katie cooked dinner, gave me a digital photo frame and the most beautiful card. John gave me candles. My friend gave me a Sushi set (one of my new favorite foods). And we had a great evening talking and eating.
My family called me to wish me happy birthday, yesterday (Even my mother). Hello, my birthday is on the same day every year! Write it down. My coworkers each gave me a gift. Each one thoughtful and I was grateful for each one. The kids at my school sang to me and in one of the classes each of the children wrote Happy Birthday on a slip of paper for me. No small feat for children that have just learned to write their first and last names! One of the parents made homemade cream puffs for me. She even made a special trip to the school to drop them off, because her child wasn't at school today. And best of all an old friend from high school called and we spent an hour catching up.
Final thought. I had no expectations for today so every little thing was special! I wasn't disappointed because I didn't think anything special would happen. It's a crummy way to think about my birthday but I don't know how else to approach it.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Losing Weight
Well the diet isn't going so hot for me. I am completely addicted to sugar and I can't get away from it. Literally I think about it when it's not in the house and have to really fight not to go get some. And I haven't been wining this last week. This is a really tough time of year. All my favorite treats are out and I really want them!
I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere over the past month! I had to make myself use my exercise bike today and I haven't used it since February! I keep thinking I should get the weight loss surgery. But it scares me. I have two friends that have had it and they are not doing so well. One is not getting enough vitamins and nutrients, even with supplements and she has lost all her teeth! The other was in the hospital for over two months do to complications and she still isn't doing well over a year later.
Someone I've known for about two years said about a year and a half ago he realized he had a sugar addition. He used to think about sugary foods, find ways to get them when it was inconvenient and ate them just because they were there. And I thought "that sounds familiar." It took him months to really get over it. Then he realized that he wasn't enjoying the food he was eating, because he was thinking about second helpings. Thinking about whether or not he would get some more, thinking their are four of us and only three helpings left. Who's not getting another slice? I realized I do that too. He wasn't enjoying what he had. He had no contentment because he was worried about what he wasn't going to get. Me, too.
I guess it's all about changing your way of thinking about food. I'm working on that too. I've been trying to choose three things to concentrate on. Three things to really get right. The first is breaking my addition to sugar. God that's hard! The second exercise. I've got the tools, now I've got to use them. The third find contentment in what I have before me. I need to learn to enjoy what I am eating and be content with one serving not two or three. I also am trying to look at my success on a weekly level. Everyone has a bad day now and then. I shouldn't throw away a week's worth of good habits because of one day's mistakes or weakness.
I know this is going to take a long time to reach my goal but some days are tougher than others.
I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere over the past month! I had to make myself use my exercise bike today and I haven't used it since February! I keep thinking I should get the weight loss surgery. But it scares me. I have two friends that have had it and they are not doing so well. One is not getting enough vitamins and nutrients, even with supplements and she has lost all her teeth! The other was in the hospital for over two months do to complications and she still isn't doing well over a year later.
Someone I've known for about two years said about a year and a half ago he realized he had a sugar addition. He used to think about sugary foods, find ways to get them when it was inconvenient and ate them just because they were there. And I thought "that sounds familiar." It took him months to really get over it. Then he realized that he wasn't enjoying the food he was eating, because he was thinking about second helpings. Thinking about whether or not he would get some more, thinking their are four of us and only three helpings left. Who's not getting another slice? I realized I do that too. He wasn't enjoying what he had. He had no contentment because he was worried about what he wasn't going to get. Me, too.
I guess it's all about changing your way of thinking about food. I'm working on that too. I've been trying to choose three things to concentrate on. Three things to really get right. The first is breaking my addition to sugar. God that's hard! The second exercise. I've got the tools, now I've got to use them. The third find contentment in what I have before me. I need to learn to enjoy what I am eating and be content with one serving not two or three. I also am trying to look at my success on a weekly level. Everyone has a bad day now and then. I shouldn't throw away a week's worth of good habits because of one day's mistakes or weakness.
I know this is going to take a long time to reach my goal but some days are tougher than others.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
First things 1st
My niece is doing fine. The docs say her seizure was caused by a virus and they do not need to fear another one happening. Praise God!
Next, not only did one person come to look at our (rented) house, but exactly one week later someone else entirely came to look at the house! Yes God is still good. But what the heck is going on?! We haven't heard anything from the landlord about their feeling on either potential buyer. So I'm feeling at easy about the whole situation. However, I do live in a newly rezoned area which is now open for businesses. The houses across the street have been empty for years and for sale signs just went up on two of them. Down the street several homes were leveled to put in what appears to be a tire place. And the house next door was just renovated to become a spa. The writing appears to be on the wall. But where is it telling me to go?
I want to stay here at least until Katie graduates next year. Because then for the first time in 15 years I won't have to consider the school district. Also, the school I teach for is relocating and I might want to be closer. Or do I want to buy a house and open a daycare. Honestly no, but I do want to open a preschool of my own some day. I've got dreams you know? It's so overwhelming to consider. Relax, and breath that's the key!
Next, not only did one person come to look at our (rented) house, but exactly one week later someone else entirely came to look at the house! Yes God is still good. But what the heck is going on?! We haven't heard anything from the landlord about their feeling on either potential buyer. So I'm feeling at easy about the whole situation. However, I do live in a newly rezoned area which is now open for businesses. The houses across the street have been empty for years and for sale signs just went up on two of them. Down the street several homes were leveled to put in what appears to be a tire place. And the house next door was just renovated to become a spa. The writing appears to be on the wall. But where is it telling me to go?
I want to stay here at least until Katie graduates next year. Because then for the first time in 15 years I won't have to consider the school district. Also, the school I teach for is relocating and I might want to be closer. Or do I want to buy a house and open a daycare. Honestly no, but I do want to open a preschool of my own some day. I've got dreams you know? It's so overwhelming to consider. Relax, and breath that's the key!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Walk On The Water
Deep sigh - mental reset
Yesterday's panic is over. It's amazing how God puts our lives in order and never makes one mistake. Today's message (at church) was about how everything good comes from God. Nothing but good can come from him because that's all he has for us. All he can give, is good. If it's not good, it's not from him.
People ask all the time why did God allow this? And that's just what I started to do yesterday. I saw all the problems and difficulties that were possibility headed my way and I had to fight to remember it's all for the best. It was all about me, me, me, the hard work involved and the disappointment in not getting things the way I wanted. So today I did as I was told a few weeks ago in a personal prophesy, "Relax and just breath." I let go and listened to what God was saying through my pastor. "The purpose of a trial is to know God is good. The trial is over the moment you know God is good." Do you understand that? Cause I just figured it out today. The trial or trouble comes to show you God is good. How else would we know God is good if everything was always good? Then the moment we understand and believe God is good the trial is over, the trouble doesn't necessarily end. But now we can walk on the water above the stormy seas, just like Jesus.
People picture Jesus walking on the water as if the wind and waves didn't affect him in anyway. But he was in a human body, he was flesh! I picture him with his eyes on his destination, the wind blowing his hair and robes and the waves pushing him around some. Maybe they are trying to knock him off coarse to keep him from the disciples. But he is God and nothing will keep him from them (or us). Now that's how I picture myself. I KNOW God is good. The trial is over, but that doesn't mean everything is going to go according to my plans. I take a step out of the boat and I'm not sinking! So, I take a few more steps...the troubles are still all around me but I'm not sinking!
My eyes are on God, the giver of only good things!
And immediately after getting home and new trial has arrived. My niece was admitted to the hospital after having a seizure this morning. My heart is gripped with alarm! But my eyes stay on God. Only good comes from him and this one and a half year old princess is 100% good. I know there will be good in this. I call my brother and he tells me what's happened. And I tell him I know exactly how he felt. I know the fear, the panic, the helplessness, complete realization that there is nothing you can do to make this better. I know because when my daughter, Katie, was two she had a seizure. At the time it seems like not one good thing came of her seizure but here we are 15 years later and I am the only one that knows how they feel right now. I tell him I'm on the way over, he asks could you wait till everyone else has left? I want to you to keep us company tonight. Of coarse I'll wait and I'll be praying, I answer. "Thanks, Luc," sob.
God is good and I'm gonna remind him tonight. I gonna pray with them too.
Yesterday's panic is over. It's amazing how God puts our lives in order and never makes one mistake. Today's message (at church) was about how everything good comes from God. Nothing but good can come from him because that's all he has for us. All he can give, is good. If it's not good, it's not from him.
People ask all the time why did God allow this? And that's just what I started to do yesterday. I saw all the problems and difficulties that were possibility headed my way and I had to fight to remember it's all for the best. It was all about me, me, me, the hard work involved and the disappointment in not getting things the way I wanted. So today I did as I was told a few weeks ago in a personal prophesy, "Relax and just breath." I let go and listened to what God was saying through my pastor. "The purpose of a trial is to know God is good. The trial is over the moment you know God is good." Do you understand that? Cause I just figured it out today. The trial or trouble comes to show you God is good. How else would we know God is good if everything was always good? Then the moment we understand and believe God is good the trial is over, the trouble doesn't necessarily end. But now we can walk on the water above the stormy seas, just like Jesus.
People picture Jesus walking on the water as if the wind and waves didn't affect him in anyway. But he was in a human body, he was flesh! I picture him with his eyes on his destination, the wind blowing his hair and robes and the waves pushing him around some. Maybe they are trying to knock him off coarse to keep him from the disciples. But he is God and nothing will keep him from them (or us). Now that's how I picture myself. I KNOW God is good. The trial is over, but that doesn't mean everything is going to go according to my plans. I take a step out of the boat and I'm not sinking! So, I take a few more steps...the troubles are still all around me but I'm not sinking!
My eyes are on God, the giver of only good things!
And immediately after getting home and new trial has arrived. My niece was admitted to the hospital after having a seizure this morning. My heart is gripped with alarm! But my eyes stay on God. Only good comes from him and this one and a half year old princess is 100% good. I know there will be good in this. I call my brother and he tells me what's happened. And I tell him I know exactly how he felt. I know the fear, the panic, the helplessness, complete realization that there is nothing you can do to make this better. I know because when my daughter, Katie, was two she had a seizure. At the time it seems like not one good thing came of her seizure but here we are 15 years later and I am the only one that knows how they feel right now. I tell him I'm on the way over, he asks could you wait till everyone else has left? I want to you to keep us company tonight. Of coarse I'll wait and I'll be praying, I answer. "Thanks, Luc," sob.
God is good and I'm gonna remind him tonight. I gonna pray with them too.
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